When loving yourself is hard.

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“I need to lose weight.”

“I need to get in shape.”

“I need to start eating healthier.”

“I hate my hair.”

“My eyebrows look awful.”

“I looked so much better in high school.”


These are all phrases I’ve heard so many girls say (myself included, no escaping that one) more times than I’d like to admit.

It’s almost as if the topic of weight loss or healthy eating or “fixing” something about ourselves is a conversation starter for so many people.

And don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to want to improve yourself!


I think the problem starts when we fixate ourselves on…

“I would look better if…”

Or “He would like me better if…”

Or “If only I could lose (insert number here) pounds…I’d finally be okay with how I look.”


Don’t you know that you will only ever be able to love yourself if you can learn to accept yourself as you are?


No matter what weight we are, hair color we have, or size dress we wear, we will always have the tendency to want more for ourselves.


Is that a bad thing?

No, probably not.


But if it constantly consumes our minds, is it a bad thing?

Yeah, I think it might be.

The real question becomes this:

How do you go from criticizing yourself for not being the exact version of yourself you’d like to be, to embracing the flaws you have and just simply being yourself?


We live in a world that constantly reminds us of what we lack… and tells us what we “should” have.

But take a second and honestly answer these questions:

What about all that you do have?

What makes you special?

What can you offer the world?

What do you enjoy?


When loving yourself is hard…I have a few tips for you that I hope help.

  1. Find 3 things that you love about yourself – EVERY SINGLE DAY.

When I was first given this challenge by my boss, I never thought it would have the impact it did. But slowly, over time, I’ve learned to embrace some of the “faults” I had focused on all the time before this.

Standing in a mirror and forcing yourself to find something you like about yourself might seem weird at first, but sooner or later it will become habit. I find myself in the middle of doing my makeup some days and saying to myself, “You actually don’t have to do that step because you have really nice (insert feature here).” Just give it a week – it’ll start to make a difference for you.

  1. Tell someone else how great they look, or how cute their shirt is, or their hair, etc.

We can all benefit from complimenting another person. On one hand, you’ve probably just made someone’s day and saw their face light up the second you said something. On the other hand, going out of your way to appreciate the beauty of another person has an odd way of providing fulfillment. Trust me, just try it.

  1. Read these verses over and over again

Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (NIV)

Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)

Genesis 1:27 – “So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them…” (NIV)


And one last piece of advice…

Find the things you do love about yourself; they’re enough.

 

Until next time,

Haley

 

 

It’s okay to not be okay.

 

When you look at the three photos above, what do you see?

A girl with a big smile?

A girl hanging out with her friends?

A girl having a good time?


When I look at those three photos…

I see a girl who spent each and every day fighting to get out of bed. 

I see a girl who was so broken, she didn’t know how to get through the day without physically shaking because her emotions were getting the best of her. 

I see a girl who wondered when she was ever going to feel “okay” again. 


My name is Haley, and I can personally tell you, you WILL feel “okay” again — whatever that may feel like to you. 

But, I can also tell you that it’s okay to not be okay.


I look at how my life was exactly one summer ago, and I was so NOT okay. 

I was going through a lot, to say the least.

I battled every single day and said, “I just want to feel okay again.”


Now that I am (for the most part) on the other side of those feelings, I realize there was a reason for that season of life I was in. 

There’s a reason for EVERY season of life we go through.


When I look back at that time, it’s hard to not be difficult on myself and tell myself, “You should’ve done better on (insert specific thing here),” or say “You shouldn’t have done (insert specific thing here).”

Gosh, I had some criiiingy moments.


But, the most important thing is that I LEARNED so much from not being “okay.”

I learned that…

I am strong enough to get out of bed when it feels like the world is laying on top of me.

I learned that I am strong enough to get through the endless days of never-ending emotional chaos.

And I learned that I am strong enough to “be okay” again. 


Don’t get me wrong…

I still have hard days.

I still have days where I struggle to not fill my mind with regrets of my past.

And I still have days where it feels like my emotions are getting the best of me.


But when that happens, I know one thing is for certain:

It’s okay to not be okay…but only for a little bit.

Because then…

It’s time to get up;

Recognize the depths of the places you’ve been;

And look to the heights of the places you’ll go. 

 

Until next time,

Haley

 

 

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